Christmas past and a letter to my Grandaughter

I know we all thought of Chris as the universally missing gift that we all wished for. Her wish would have been that the baubles were straight and that all the kids were happy and well fed.

Chris gave me a gift a very long time ago that I didn't realise had been posted but it arrived yesterday just in time for my Grand daughters 1st proper Christmas.

Chris taught me that all children are magical and nothing else matters because each one is a gift to be treasured. My brother Sam would only eat chicken nuggets as a child but Chris had patience and let him eat them until he didn't want to. Louis was the shy one who although extremely bright didn't want to perform in public and hid away so she gave him space. I was damaged and she extended great patience to me.
My experience of being parented was anger and emotional violence often with physical violence.
Both parenting types will effect us all our lives but Sam and Louis and no doubt Debbie, Gareth and Frances will have happy memories and their ability to deal with situations will differ from mine because of their early upbringing with Chris.

When my sister and I were abandoned we became part of Chris's family and suddenly there was a strange but infinitely preferable way of life. Its because of Chris that I know half the things I do.

Yesterday I sat with a very excited little girl who was dressed in a Santa dress. She kept pointing to the Christmas tree and her little plate kept magically re filling with profiteroles as she happily danced around cuddling dolls and smearing chocolate across her happy little face. She had Mummy ,Daddy and Grandma and so far it was the best day she had ever had.
Chris's gift arrived after the others had been opened and it was the realisation that not only had she helped me with Kyras childhood but she had taught me to be a Grand parent.
Now that's a gift you cannot get any other way unless its given with love. Because of Chris my Granddaughter Roxy's first memories of Christmas will fill her head for the rest of her life. Each Christmas will be magical. warm and safe because Chris taught us all how to do it.

How lucky I am that my gift arrived and I spotted it amongst all the ripped paper and sparkling lights. I will put two photos on today because I want Roxy my Granddaughter to meet her great grand mother to whom we should all hold up a glass of Champagne and thank for what she stood for and how she made us have strong moral cores that we will share with our families forever

Dont cry for me Dyfed powys police

Apologies to A Lloyd-Webber but to be fair you are living in Daphne's house


It will be so easy, you'll think it strange
When I get to explain how I feel
that I still need justice after all that you've done

You won't believe it
All you will see is a girl you once destroyed

Although she's tooled up to the nines
At sixes and sevens with you

I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn't put my trust in the IPCC
Looking in at the window, favouritism was all I could see

So I chose freedom
Running around, writing everything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to

Chorus:

Don't cry for me Dyfed Powys police

The truth is I never liked you
All through the hard days
My mad existence
Ill keep my promise,

you wont be in existence


And as for fortune, and as for fame
Terry Grange never invited me in
and it seemed to the world that he got what he deserved

police statements are illusions

They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answers are hidden all the time
I loathe you and don't care if you loathe me

Don't cry for me Dyfed Powys police

(chorus)

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more you can do to stop me now
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true

Santas littlest Hobo that came in from the snow

I know I promised not to look at every little Blue puppy that I see, intently searching for the very qualities that my Bojangles has but yet I was strangely drawn to this little blue lurcher needing a mummy to keep him warm and fill his tummy.
So off I set for a three hour drive through the snow thinking up reasons to give Debbie when inevitably I would arrive home with another little lost soul.

When I got to the address where this new blue boy was I carefully walked across old window frames and abandoned beer cans thrown in for good measure and tapped the door carefully as it was boarded, so as not to dislodge any more glass. A child first asked who was there before a stressed parent arrived with keys to let me in. I was greeted by a lady trying to do the right thing by this pup.
She had been told that the pup was 6 months and that he had an accident with a door.
He was 4 months old and had two breaks in his little tail that had set at angles.
He was scratching enough that Debbie's first concern when she saw him was mange.He wasn't a Bojangles boy but he was blue enough so I couldn't leave him there.

I introduced the pup to Debbie very carefully so there would be no aggression by giving her a bag of cheese scones in an Asda bag in one arm and then swiftly plonking him in her other arm. She didnt bite him or me once which was a relief.

The puppy was far better behaved and gazed lovingly at her fluttering his little blue eye lashes.
We did the this puppy will never be Bojangles because he is a dog and it looks like a patterdale cross,it has mange and his tail looks like something builders measure angles with.

Eventually even Ms Connolly the BBC dog trainer had to agree that this little pup is close to perfection as is possible. He sleeps all night, goes out with the gang and wees up fences,doesn't chase cats,Doesn't chase chickens and is clean in the house.
He is a really loving chap. Our vet saw him and has wormed, fleed and checked him all over.

I think little Hobo has a special reason to come into my life. Somewhere there is someone who has just lost their dog or perhaps is alone or perhaps a child with special needs to whom Hobo will pay his rent with love and devotion.
If anyone knows of such a person then little Hobo will be one happy puppy with his forever home and he could full fill his destiny to be a special little superstar

An Angel by any other name is as sweet

Angel,

You were more like the devil when you flew out of the cattle lorry ready to fight me, with your flashing eyes accentuated with what looked like eye liner. Your gang were behind you, flanked by your two Sargent's at arms.
Then you saw the two big bales that I had brought in just for you and your frightened herd. By the expression on your face I assume the dinner gong sounded in your head and so you just threatened me very rudely with wisps of hay trailing from your lips.

You to me were a challenge,something to keep me wanting to live in this world full of uncaring humans and I guess you felt the same way about me so our hearts were instantly drawn like pulsating magnets. After a few stand up and lay down fights we found our way and became a team.

You helped me learn from you as much as you learned from me. I laid strange things on your back and asked you to move towards me on a long white connector that joined us "eye to eye". Very soon you got that humans need help and so you learned to walk forward and to stop before colliding with me and also you even went for a lovely walk down the road but chose to come home first and let me catch up later.

You trusted me enough when I asked you to carry someone on your back which eventually you actually thought was great fun, especially when the foals in your herd got in line behind you and turned left and right when you did.
What an Angel you were for me when I asked you to try a rug out. Since then you had to try a bigger one because your hungry tummy was now full every day and you had gained weight.

One fateful day I waved goodbye to you as I was going to a car boot to fund raise and you suddenly remembered you were a wild horse and you took your herd wandering across into a neighboring field. To get there everyone who could, jumped the fence and you as Alpha mare tried but didn't make it.

When you were found you were lying still and flat on the floor with a lot of blood that had ebbed from your leg. The humans let me come up and sit with you alone."I only left you for two hours" I told you while I stroked your face.

Suddenly your eye opened and looked directly at me with a look of kindness and acceptance of me.
At that point people came running with cutters and my rope halter. We cut you free from the sharp wire and you still just focused on me. Darling you were not clear of danger yet and so I took your front legs and cradled your head so we could turn you over.I realised then how much weight you had gained. We pulled and turned and suddenly you were in a place where we could try to lift you. With a lot of effort from you and persuasion from me we did it !

You limped out of the field and down the road to wait for our Vet Brian Cotter but trailing behind you were your herd of foals and mares and a lot of blood from your injury.
The vet packed your leg because it couldn't be stitched and you are still ill but having just fed you antibiotics cunningly hidden inside apple and honey cookies I know that you will try your very hardest to stay with me in the world even if it is full of uncaring humans,because just sometimes there are people who care and we both have a lot of them around us.

On the topic of abandoned horses

Yet more have been pushed into the arena...

Over the last few days Ive had several groups of ponies pointed my direction. One group has a very misleading photo with it that does not show a motley group of Section A's but something more attractive than what you are likely to get!

For many years I have made my self unpopular with the pc group of dogooders who think that by buying Sec As at market they are going to go to heaven. Ive had loads of abuse and people are discouraged from coming to us because I have always said that buying meat ponies from auction simply feeds the trade.
If you indiscriminately breed mother to son and produced a meat pony,took it to auction and got a fiver for it would you bother again ? Noooo

If you indiscriminately breed mother to son and produced a meat pony,took it to auction and got a £100 for it would you bother again ? Yes

Would you care who bought it if there was more money in it ? Would you welcome women with cheque books hurling abuse if you went home with a weeks wages from say ten ponies ?
Ive always said if there was no money in it then the scum of the earth breeders would stop.
During school holidays the dumping rate goes down but as soon as kids are back at school and no more pity ponies get purchased then abandoned ponies turn up all over the place unloaded from lorries.

I'm not a great fan of passports because I feel its geared up to Europe wanting to know where its lunch is coming from but I must say Defra has done a cracking job in stopping the breeding of these unfortunate innocents.
Sadly because of buying sprees there are still breeders out there pumping more sad little lives into the torrent of unwanted life. Now the breeders have to pay for a passport for each foal even if they go straight to slaughter and that is a wonderful thing because its taken any profit away.
For each poor little inbred thing ( and yes those posh ones that people think are the best when they are just the same when the skins off ) that has been dragged into this world from a starving mum riddled with worms and lice, death is a blessing. They are inbred with many physical problems and wild natures,Often the colts have a withheld testicle in Sec As.

Shame on anyone who perpetuated the breeding to fill greedy pockets with cash
With the credit crunch less people are buying the foals to stop the meat man so like a self full filling prophecy there are huge volumes of unwanted ponies being offered to sanctuaries "Or we will slaughter them" Really ? Are you really going to pay for the passports then just to slaughter them out of spite ?
More like you are hoping people will buy them to save them !

I may sound harsh but if people stopped buying them then there would be no profit and there would be no more sad little souls ripped away from their mums at auctions.
Just like Veal,people stopped buying, veal stopped being produce in horrendous conditions
If you want to do something to improve the welfare of poorly bred ponies then please don't hand over money for them at auctions or from breeders.
Its shameful that these people have not been stopped a long long time ago,
For all those breeders that will now phone me with abuse or who will run me down behind my back, feel free that's my contribution to saving ponies from torturous lives.Apart from saving and feeding all the ones here at the sanctuary already.
If you can genuinely help a wild meat pony and have the knowledge then go for it but please don't give the breeders a penny.